- Много са странни тия жени, бе, тате!
- Ами алтернативата е да станеш педераст
- ... Техническият на всичко туй акцент може 'се приеме за психотерапия против екзистенциалния страх. Принципът тук е на приятелското отключване: добрата дума железни врата отваря. Страхът те е напълзял, споходил те е, просмукал те е: и те е сковал. Мимикрирал те е. Но не като пред призрак. Импрегниран си, натеглен си, на'лузил си си примката, 'алката; изкушен си да се гмурнеш, пък се паникьосваш: "Не!" Уф, ни да го разрешиш, ни да не го разрешиш! Оковал те е и креташ, влачиш го със себе си както три синджира роби... Току някой иззад те потупа по рамото. "Хей, отпусни се, то е мечка, от която се не бяга", усмихва ти се той. Sunrise! Даваш назад, оттегляш се заднешком и разтваряш ръце. "Кротко, кротко..." Разширяваш се, извисяваш се; издигаш се и го увличаш призрачно страха, дзвера. Сборвате се безтегловно. И разпъва се, и усуква се: разкъсва се в чернота, съсредоточавайки те в нищо. Захвърля те на парцали, та емоционализираш, разпределяш го по време и пространство. Коагулация, средоточване. Приятел е пред теб: приятелят, когото да прегърнеш; слънцето да прегърнеш! А нея винаги има кой.
P. S.
"The thing I love the most about Lzzy Hale:
it's that she don't ever allow nobody to feel alone,
or out of space on this weird world that we all are living in"
Нечий коментар, 29 н.' 2021, Twitter
- You
have to remind yourself that everything starts and ends with you: your
depression does not define you, it is a symptom and coping mechanism
your brain clings to; but it isn't You. I
chase whatever takes me down the rabbit hole, then from there it's like
a treasure hunt; and you don't stop 'til you've collected all the
pieces and put them in order. It's
like a dance, or juggling: you have to let one part of your brain go on
autopilot; I'm thinking of about 5 different things while I'm on stage,
but I rotate/ balance them all in my head. If you do frozen cherries with vanilla yogurt, it's like ice-cream... Boxing: cuz I'd need to hit something. No
one person helped us get our big break, it was a lot of work, over 1500
shows before we got signed; and on tour, and a lot of radio DJs, club
owners, and other normal people and local fans: that gave us a chance... I
didn't go to college, went to school on and off 'til 8th grade, then
got my high school diploma early by going to classes at a community
college getting my GED. All
in all, I don't regret it: I never got the typical high school/ college
party/ social experience, but I was more interested in writing songs/
figuring out how to make this band a reality. It
would've been a distraction from that dream if I had chosen the typical
route; plus looking back, mom and dad could never have afforded college
tuition, let alone the student debt; so I think I made the right choice... My
fear/ self doubt has never really gone away, but it has become smaller;
through tiny victories over it, I've learned to overcome those feelings
one battle at a time. If it wasn't for my fears, I wouldn't appreciate my happiness... I think the only thing I would attempt now is drama/ acting classes. I know people that have degrees and work at Walmart: nothing is a guarantee. I come and go as I please, depending on where my mind is at; but it's
actually very inspiring to read/ listen to your individual journeys:
they help me understand my own, and how we are all very much the same. The
best thing I ever did was not have a plan B to fall back on; times were
hard, the boys and I had to go to the 99 cent store to buy food; I was
making our stage clothes from pieces from goodwill; but we were doing
it, we were playing shows and figuring it out, there was no choice. I keep looking on the bright side of life, cuz it only gets darker. See you tomorrow!
